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Skimm for September 18th

Skimm’d while watching Peyton Manning join the 70,000 Club.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Happy 101st birthday” — A birthday card from the White House to Utah resident Benjamin Shosted. Benjamin just turned one. He’s outraged by the mistake.

I CAN'T FEEL MY RATES WHEN I'M WITH YOU

THE STORY

Yesterday, the Fed reminded everyone that it likes to play hard to get and decided not to raise interest rates.

REALLY? THIS AGAIN?

This again. For a while, the central bank has been real flirtatious — hinting that it’s alllmoooosssttt ready to go for it, meaning raise rates for the first time since ’08. The Fed has been keeping rates near zero since the financial crisis — thinking that if it’s cheap for consumers to borrow money, they might just do economy-boosting things like buy a house or a car.

SO WHY ALL OF THE BACK AND FORTH?

Raising interest rates would be a sign that the Fed thinks markets are finally healthy enough to take off the training wheels. But the central bank has been reading the economic tea leaves and hasn’t been so sure the markets are ready for the change. Everyone thought it was gonna happen in June. And it didn’t. Then, everyone thought it was gonna happen yesterday. And it didn’t. Tease.

BUT WHY?

The Fed says the US economy’s lookin’ good, but what’s going on overseas made the bank hit ‘pause.’ Cough, China, cough. Lately, there have been signs that the world’s second-largest economy is on the rocks. Potentially not such good news for US companies doing business there.

theSKIMM

In the past, the Fed’s been focused on the US economy. But now it has its eyes on another prize: how China is doing. The bank’s waiting until December to make the call on interest rates. Contain your excitement.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN THE CHECK COMES AFTER A GROUP DINNER…

Ouch. Yesterday, General Motors agreed to hand over $900 million to the Justice Dept. to settle criminal charges. Last year, the automaker started to recall millions of cars. That’s because there were a few, small problems…like faulty ignition switches that could unexpectedly turn off a car. That issue has been linked to more than 120 deaths. Turns out, GM knew about the problem for almost a decade and didn’t do anything about it. Hence, criminal charges. This comes after Toyota settled similar charges for $1.2 billion in 2014. That’s a lot of zeroes.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU HAVE TO USE GOOGLE MAPS TO GET TO A MEETING...

Where is this again? Yesterday, there was a coup in Burkina Faso, a country in West Africa that’s been going through an identity crisis for a while. Last year, its president was ousted after being in charge for almost three decades. A temporary government was put in place. But yesterday, forces loyal to the ex-prez arrested the interim prez and literally kicked him out of office. The coup comes just weeks before an election was set to be held. Key word: was. It looks like it’ll probably get pushed back now.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND TEXTS BACK A DAY LATER…

Delayed reaction. Yesterday, some American Airlines flights were grounded for almost two hours because of computer problems. The FAA first reported those problems, calling them “airline issues.” Helpful. The outage affected flights to and from Chicago, Miami and Dallas. This isn’t the first time an airline’s had to pump the brakes on its flight schedule because of what American described as “connectivity issues.” If you hear “connectivity issues” and think “hack”…you’re not alone. But American said it has no reason to believe the outage was a hacker’s delight.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT TRUMP’S LATEST COMMENTS…

It’s what he didn’t say that made news. Kinda like hot debate guy…who now has a name. And a hashtag. And a social media fan club.

SKIMM READS

Skimm’ologist says: try the Coco Chanel Martini in honor of Fashion Week and this read.

“Tales from the Back Row” by Amy Odell

Cosmo’s online editor Amy Odell has asked Jay-Z what he smells like, awkwardly shared ravioli with Richard Gere, and worn designer sweatpants to meet her future husband’s parents. All in the name of fashion.

SKIMM SHARE

Good things happen when you share theSkimm. Big, huge thanks to Hannah Brencher (Atlanta, GA), who gets to Netflix and chill for the next year on us. Here’s how you share.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*Indicates Skimm’bassador. You had me at cake.

Hunter Walk (San Francisco, CA); *Jenny Case (Atlanta, GA); *Lauren Vucovich (Santa Barbara, CA); *Leora Sperber (New York, NY); *Jessica Phillips (Austin, TX); *Gloria Civitarese (Pittsburgh, PA); *Lindsey Bowman (Carbondale, IL); *Paull Young (Sydney, Australia); *Peyton Plummer (Bethesda, MD); *Carly Berber (Belmar, NJ); *Micayla Brewster (Los Angeles, CA); *Britney Sauer (Austin, TX); * Grace Ying (Durham, NC); *Irene Sheh (Santa Clara, CA); *Ellen Harrison Finn (Laconia, NH); *Francie Schnipke Richards (Chicago, IL); *Cally Ravn (Sussex, Canada); *Virginia Daugherity (Madison, WI); *Claire Tran (Sacramento, CA); *Kristin Sword (New York, NY); *Lauren Elise Lindahl (Tucson, AZ); *Leeora Weisenberg (Long Beach, NY); *Lindsey McClain (Bowling Green, KY); *Dawn Croissant (Wake Forest, NC); *Sierra Bailey (Atlanta, GA); *Megan Miller (Seattle, WA); *Ariana Valderrama (Chicago, IL); *Sierra Bailey (Atlanta, GA); *Sarah Legried (Boston, MA); *Anabel Mieres (Miami, FL); *Jennifer Cole (Gaithersburg, MD); *Melinda Perrotta (Kinnelon, NJ); *Bianca DiFalco (Toronto, Canada); *Audrey Gruber (Dallas, TX); *Lauren Mathews (Johns Creek, GA); *Emily Rizzo (New York, NY); *Megan Smith (Boise, ID); *Maria Manzo (Boston, MA); *Katie Troyer (Columbus, OH); *Nicole Hanlon(Danvers, MA); *Lucy Hensley (Atlanta, GA); *Bianca DiFalco (Toronto, Canada); *Gianna Rocco (Shrewsbury, MA); *Larinda Agee (Berea, KY); Jon Brod (New York, NY); Maria Fe Del Rosario (Orange County, CA); John Crowley (Vero Beach, FL); James Paulson (San Francisco, CA); Elin Hert (Bozeman, MT); Catherine Hansen (Washington, DC); Evan Hunter (Naval Square, PA); Chelsea Hulse (New York, NY); Shelby Layne (Los Angeles, CA); Mariah Jackson (Royal Oak, MI); Betsy Dick (Ithaca, NY); Cally Ravn (Sussex, NB); Shelby Fink (Atlanta, GA ); Libby Cerce (Washington, DC); Lauren Ehlers (Alexandria, VA); Amanda LeeMasci (Cherry Hill, NJ); Herman Thompson (Dallas, TX); Derek Schauer (New York, NY); Katie Tomezsko (West Hartford, CT); Nirali Mehta (Centreville, VA); Mary Jo Walsh (Port St. Joe, FL); Meredith Engel (Astoria, NY); Amy Kline (Austin,TX); Catherine Hansen (Washington, DC); Danielle Deveau (Los Angeles, CA); Sherry Kurth (Harvard, IL);Torrey Vaughan (Houston, TX); Chelsea Swain (San Luis Obispo, CA); Susan Sims (Le Roy, IL); Courtney Bosquez (College Station, TX); Lauren Fairey (Woodstock, GA); Daniela Cassab (Mexico City, Mexico); Shelley Gagliardi (North Caldwell, NJ); Allison Krug (New York, NY); Glen Burns (Wilmington, DE); Tim Cappel (Cincinnati, OH); Carole Donnelly Donnellon (Cincinnati, OH); Cris Hernandez (Tokyo, Japan); Jess Firls (Chicago, IL); Laura Foley (Comins, MI); Rachel Faust (New York, NY); Sarah Merrill (New York, NY); Bob Sperry (Terrace Park, OH)