Is this email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser.

Skimm for December 18th

Skimm’d after a holiday party.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“It’s very likely I would be a one-term president” — GOP presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson, setting the bar high.

BILLS, BILLS, BILLS

THE STORY

‘Twas the night before vacation, and Congress still has a massive budget deal to pass.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Congress needs to push through two big bills — a tax bill and a spending bill — that will keep the lights on in DC through next year. And neither has gotten a pass from both houses. Yesterday, the House passed the $622 billion tax bill that gives businesses and low-income families tax breaks and freezes a controversial Obamacare tax. Now it’s on to the Senate. Meanwhile, the $1.1 trillion spending bill — which decides where money in the budget goes — would do things like lift a ban on exporting crude oil (a big win for the GOP) and provide incentives for people to use renewable energy sources (a big win for Dems). The spending bill is hoping to get OK’d tomorrow.

HAVEN’T I HEARD ABOUT THIS BEFORE?

Yup. There’s been a lot of back and forth and a lot of procrastination over these cash money decisions. The deadline to fund the gov. came and went last week. Instead of passing a budget deal, Congress passed a temporary measure to push the deadline to this week. Because who doesn’t like working when you’re eggnog hungover?

theSKIMM

Congress is using a word that hasn’t been in their vocabulary much over the past year: compromise. This budget deal has stocking stuffers for both Dems and Republicans. Now all Congress has to do is actually pass it. Merry merry.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT TOOL OF A BARISTA LOST HIS JOB…

Sorry not sorry. Yesterday, pharmaceutical exec Martin Shkreli was arrested on securities and wire fraud charges. He’s that guy who recently added A LOT of zeros to the price tag of a drug sold by the company he runs, Turing Pharmaceuticals. The drug treats a rare infection, but can also be used as part of cancer and HIV treatments. It went from costing $13.50 to $750 a pill, landing him on everyone’s sh*t list. But these charges have nothing to do with all that, and are instead related to an alleged Ponzi scheme he ran as a hedge fund manager. In his spare time, he also enjoys taunting Bernie Sanders on Twitter, wearing hoodies, and reportedly spending $2 million on a Wu-Tang Clan album. #Keeper.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND ASKS ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND PLANS…

Hanging with Dem boyz and girls. Actually. Tomorrow night’s the third Democratic debate, hosted by ABC at 8PM EST. This time, candidates are gathering in a galaxy far, far, away: New Hampshire. And location is everything. New Hampshire’s the first state to have a primary next year, and a good indicator of how voters are feeling. It’s also one of the few states where Sen. Bernie Sanders (VT) is giving Fmr. Sec. of State Hillary Clinton a run for her pantsuit. Sidenote: Fmr. Gov. Martin O’Malley (MD) will be there too. Yes, there are really only three candidates. This is the last debate of the year, so the three best friends that anyone could have might be looking to get feistier than in previous rounds. PS: we made you Skimm Libs to print and fill out for when you start to fall asleep.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR ROOMMATE TEXTS THAT SHE HAD A BAD DAY…

Meet me at the Bar. Speaking of…Bar Refaeli is suspected of tax evasion. You know her as the supermodel who dated Leonardo DiCaprio. Really narrows it down. The Israeli model and her mom allegedly didn’t report millions in income earned abroad and on luxury items. Think: Range Rover and Lexus cars she got for free in exchange for promotion. Hate when that happens. Now, Refaeli and her mom aren’t allowed to travel abroad for six months without permission.

SKIMM READS

“What Pretty Girls are Made Of” by Lindsay Jill Roth

Heard you need a vacation book. Voila. Think “The Devil Wears Prada” but for the beauty industry. By all means, do not read at a glacial pace.

SKIMM WINE

This read is good for relaxing. Especially with this white wine. You’re welcome.

SKIMM GIFT

Punta Cana…not just your college spring break. We want you to go for five days. Flights paid. All-inclusive. That means lots of cocktail umbrellas. Enter here.

SKIMM LIFE

Live. It’s Saaaaaaaturdayyyy night. And the Democratic debate is on. We have Skimm Libs to keep you awake.

SKIMM SHARE

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*indicates Skimm’bassador. Cake cake cake cake.

*Samantha Alperin (Memphis, TN); *Andrea Massimilian (Indianapolis, IN); *Emily Wilkins (Farmington Hills, MI); *Katie Goldberg (Chicago, IL); *Kiley Cowley (Lubbock, TX); *Lauren Casnovsky (Saint Paul, MN); *Justine Pinskey (Ann Arbor, MI); *Kati Depasse (Indianapolis, IN);*Rebecca Finer (Orlando, FL); *Angela Gurney (Salina, UT); *Kristin Knox (Louisville, MS); *Chandler Thompson (Greensboro, NC); *Haley Brown (Spokane, WA); *Angela Kapsiak (Cheektowaga, NY); *Samantha Satnick (Princeton, NJ); Karin Cole (Los Angeles,CA); *Greta Fure (Minneapolis, MN); *Jonatha Basye (Poquoson, VA); *Sarah MacDonnell (Boston, MA); *Tammy Tibbetts (New York, NY); *Jeanne Abundis (Houston, TX); *Shannon Powell Rodocker (Columbus, OH); *Gaye Dean (Minneapolis, MN); *Hillary Rush (Glasgow, KY); *Ashleigh Mavros (Columbus, OH); *Montana Byrd (Alexandria, VA); *Stephanie Magill (Boulder, CO); *Elizabeth DePue (Chalfont, PA); *Saryah Leyton (Houston, TX); *Samantha Morisco (Santa Monica, CA); *Molly Seither (Louisville, KY); Kristen Calogero (New York, NY); Eli Cohen (West Hartford, CT); Michael Sclafani (New York, NY); Katie Malcolm (Houston, TX); Alexis Maybank (New York NY) *Laila Moire-Selvage (San Francisco, CA); *Tatiana Anchondo (El Paso, TX); *Chandler Huston (Valencia, CA); *Jocelyn Paonita (Charleston, SC); *Joan Keesey (Dallas, TX); Gabrielle Ferrara (New York, NY); Becky Harmon (Lakeway, TX); Callie Schweitzer (New York, NY); Bahja Johnson (San Francisco, CA); Dalicia Blount (Brooklyn, NY); Ellen Prague (Winter Park, FL); Kristen Jenkins (New York, NY); Mary Lynn Gage (La Jolla, CA); Ryann Leonard (New York, NY); Emily Ng (Hong Kong); Isabelle Hill (New York, NY); Jessica Redmond (Edmonton, AB); Bobby McMahon (New York, NY); Johanna Silver (Northbrook, IL); Kelly Brown (Charlottesville, VA); Meghan Andrews (New York, NY); Michelle McComb (San Mateo, CA); Pam Ross (Joliet, IL); Rebecca Uchneat (Hadley, MA); Samantha Robinson (Pasadena, CA); Hannah King (New York, NY); Barbara Mchale (Greenwich, CT); Sarah Gannett (Richmond, VA); Shannon Roark (Chelmsford, MA); Ilia Morales Toledo (San Juan, PR); Megan Freshley (Portland, OR); Heather Darazs (Washington, DC); Diana Spurgat (New York, NY); Emma Kravitz (Denver, CO); Jeanie Chang (Staten Island, NY); Evie Sarkes (Baltimore, MD); Susan Larson (Brighton, MI); Lauren Bryant (New York, NY); Deborah Steele (Hershey, PA); Leigh Sevin (Miami, FL); Liz Strahm (Indianapolis, IN); Gwen Palmer (New York, NY); Melissa Haas (Bellevue, WA); Stephanie Rickabaugh (Philadelphia, PA); Patti Williamson (Camp Hill, PA); Ryan Rich (Palatine, IL); Kelley Hyta (Portland, OR); Terri Sandblom (Pawtucket, RI); Rita Losefson (Plainview, NY); Kerry Mahony (Boston, MA); Sarah Abboud (Pittsburgh, PA); Rachel Litt (San Francisco, CA); Sarah Rabin Spira (Washington, DC); Rich Wiltfang (Brunswick, GA); Noelle Geckle (Los Angeles, CA); Morgan Rog-Urman (Washington, DC); Randi Amalfitano (New York, NY); Dorothy Russ (Jacksonville, FL)