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Skimm for January 21st

Skimm’d in Eberjeys

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I don’t know why I am on this email” – Yesterday, a Time Inc. employee reportedly emailed an HR question to thousands of co-workers by accident. This was one of them. Cue reply all anarchy.

DIP IT LOW, PICK IT UP SLOW

THE STORY

Yesterday, US stock markets had a moment.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Stocks took a nosedive when investors saw oil prices falling, and hit the ‘panic’ button. By the end of the day, the markets were kinda sorta looking better. But this was the latest in a string of days that are giving the US economy some serious whiplash.

WHY THE WHIPLASH?

Oil. For more than a year, global oil prices have been tanking. That’s because there is much more supply these days than demand. The US has been passing more oil and gas at home, and OPEC – a fam of oil-producing countries – refuses to stop pumping oil into the market. Meanwhile, the US & friends just lifted sanctions on Iran, so now the country can start adding supply to the market too.

IS THAT ALL?

Nope. China ‘s economy has been hungover for months. The government has been trying some at-home remedies but so far, no dice. Now, everybody’s wondering what kind of ripple effect it could have on global markets.

theSKIMM

Oil prices hit a 13-year low yesterday. And they might have a long way to go before they hit bottom. Which could lead to a lot more days that have investors reaching for the Tums.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU FIND OUT 2015 WAS THE HOTTEST YEAR ON RECORD…

It’s hot in herre, but is it hot out therre? Yesterday, researchers said they’re pretty sure there’s a ninth planet in the solar system. Reminder: Pluto used to be the ninth planet, but the tribe spoke, and it got voted off the island. This potential new planet is being called...wait for it...Planet Nine . Researchers were tipped off to its possible existence when they noticed a group of objects all orbiting around the same thing. And they’re pretty confident that thing is Planet Nine. According to the research, they think it’s about 10 times bigger than Earth and lives way past Neptune and wayyyyyy past Uranus. Sorry, had to.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU FEEL A TICKLE IN YOUR THROAT…

Sick day? Thousands of public school students in Detroit were home yesterday after teachers in the district had another “sick-out” – which is kinda like a bunch of teachers coordinating a sick day. The teachers are hoping to draw attention to awful building conditions (think: rats and mold) and a lack of funding. Reminder: Detroit exited bankruptcy more than a year ago, but it’s not exactly rolling in the cash. The teachers timed yesterday’s sick-out with President Obama’s visit to the city. Surprise, Detroit wasn’t so happy about it. Yesterday, the district filed a lawsuit against the teachers’ union and a few dozen teachers. No word on when a judge will rule on the sick-outs, so for now the ‘let’s call in sick’ teacher group text could continue.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE ASKS ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND PLANS…

Making an igloo. A major snowstorm is expected to hit the Northeast and the Mid-Atlantic this weekend, dumping up to two feet of snow in some areas. It looks like DC is going to get it really bad — weathermen are comparing it to a snowstorm in 1922 that killed almost 100 people. New York City, Philadelphia, and Boston could also see some action. And — per tradition for the first big storm of the year — people are getting real apocalyptic. Bread and milk are scarce. Forecast calls for Netflix inside. Without the chill.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER STARTS MANSPLAINING THE PLAYOFFS...

You may want to sit for this… It’s 2016 and the NFL hired its first full-time lady assistant coach. Slow. Clap.

THING TO KNOW

Grace Coddington: The one with the big red hair who you remember from “The September Issue.” She used to be Vogue’s creative director. Yesterday, she stepped down. Now, she’ll be Vogue’s creative director at-large. Which might mean she can move at a more glacial pace.

SKIMM GIFT

Sun. Sand. Tequila. Tacos. Three nights in Mexico at the Four Seasons. If you want to invite us, we won’t be mad. Enter here.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

* indicates Skimm’bassador. You had me at cake.

*CC Conrad (New York, NY); *Dana Averbuch (Huntsville, AL); *Joel Karabach (Detroit, MI); Elaine Heirigs (Papillion, NE); *Cate Smolinsky (Fredericksburg, VA); *Taylor Jones (Irvine, CA); *Zanna Wallace (Mesquite, TX); *Emily Crane (Lawrence, KS); *Tammy King (Denver, CO); *Stacy Kustermann (Minneapolis, MN); *Yaffa Meeran (Austin, TX); *Hannah Fischer (Oxford, OH); *Erin Blankstein (Ann Arbor, MI); * Courtney Bass (Chicago, IL); *Zoë Atchinson (N. Potomac, MD); *Frankie O’Neill (Fort Worth, TX); *Hayley Coleman (Cincinnati, OH); *Adrian Atanasov (Columbia, MO); *Megan Foley (Toronto, ON);*Grace Weselak (San Diego, CA); *Morgan Dunn (Augusta, GA); *Taylor Lupo (Syracuse, NY); *Daniela Suarez (Boston, MA); *Haley Lindenberg (State College, PA); *Diana Saleh (Arlington, TX); Degelis Tufts (New York, NY); Ali Brodeur (Medford, MA); Sue Geramian (New York, NY); Kevin Louie (Pasadena, CA); Alison Schaid (Lake Geneva, WI); Amy Schurer (Philadelphia, PA); Bob Engelman (Scottsdale, AZ); Bradley Downing (Winter Park, FL); Nikki Mendell (New York, NY); Brenda Wallace (Evansville, IN); Cassandra Cummings (Chicago, IL); Courtney Wynne (Darien, CT); Daniel Bingham (New York, NY); Debbie Gottlieb (Hillsdale, NJ); Ella Adler Attell (Pepper Pike, OH); Erin Ade (New York, NY); Jason Basri (Goshen, NY); Joyce Barco (New York, NY); Katie Bean (Charlottesville, VA); Katie Lockhart (Lexington, KY); Kimberly Yates (Houston, TX); Kristen Haught (New York, NY); Lexie Deeb (Los Angeles, CA); Lily Beck (New York, NY); Mary Hayes (Charlotte, NC); Nicole Phillips (Indianapolis, IN); Marc Goldman (New York, NY); Nicole Yee (Wellesley, MA); Ruhi Khan (Atlanta, GA); Sheila Scott (Adams, MA); Preethi Bapna (New York, NY); Stasia McCullough (Cleveland, OH); Summer Abraham (Chicago, IL); Sema Kazarian (New York, NY); Vincent Moeneclaey (New York, NY); Stuart Ferguson (Richmond, VA); Stephanie Scarpa (Charlotte, NC); Erin Weinberg (Tallahassee, FL); Lizzy Linden (Cleveland, OH)