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Skimm for February 2nd

Skimm’d while waiting for the groundhog.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“If you believe in something you gotta fight for it” - A Golden State Warriors assistant coach on the team’s fight to get PB&Js back on their private plane. The sandwiches were banned by trainers, because sugar. Solidarity.

IOWA OF THE TIGER

THE STORY

Yesterday was 2016��s first caucus-measuring contest. It was big. And unclear.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

After lots of political speeches and smizing, Iowa voters from each party picked their favorite candidates. It was the first big test for who’s going to take the nomination cake. Sen. Ted Cruz (TX) took home a big W for the GOP, followed by Donald Trump (who maybe should have shown up to the last debate), and — surprise, surprise — Sen. Marco Rubio (FL). Meanwhile, the Dem race was too close to call. While Fmr. Sec of State Hillary Clinton thought she won, everyone else - including Sen. Bernie Sanders (VT) – called it a tie last night.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

No one really thought they lost. The Donald did not get a yuuuuuuuge win, but he’s still leading in national polls. Last night could be the boost Cruz needs to trump Trump. Rubio’s feeling pretty, prettyyy good about grabbing more votes than expected. But for the Dems, the results are still TBD. For Hillz, this is a wake-up call that a lot more people are feeling the Bern than her campaign hoped. For Bernie, it’s a sign that the Democratic nom isn’t locked up.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Fmr. Gov. Martin O’Malley (MD) and Fmr. Gov. Mike Huckabee (AR) packed it up and said maybe next year. Dr. Ben Carson’s still in, but left Iowa early to get a “fresh set of clothes.” Priorities.

theSKIMM

Hellooo, 2016. Last night was the first reading of the presidential tea leaves…and on the Dem side, it’s still ‘outlook hazy.’ While Iowa doesn’t always predict who’s going to win the nomination in each party, it gives you a clearer picture of how things could play out. Get ready to Skimm the Vote.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR CO-WORKER WHO ALWAYS TRIES TO ONE-UP YOU...

Anything you can do I can do better. Yesterday, Google parent company Alphabet reported its earnings and passed Apple as the most valuable company in the world. You might remember that time last year when Google gave itself a parent company named Alphabet. The goal? To separate its core business (think: Google search, Android, YouTube) from its ‘moon-shot’ projects (think: self-driving cars, curing disease). This is the first time Google’s reported earnings under the Alphabet umbrella…and the company made it rain. At the end of the day, Alphabet was worth about $570 billion, while Apple was around a mere $535 billion. iDemand a recount.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO ALREADY PUT YOU ON ‘GUAC DUTY’ FOR HER SUPER BOWL PARTY…

Your weekly game day spread’s about to get bigger. Yesterday, the NFL added more games to its Thursday night lineup. Because balls are the best way to celebrate pre-Friday. The League inked two-year deals with CBS (its longtime lover) and NBC (its new Thursday night hookup). Getting some action isn’t cheap. Each network will broadcast five Thursday night games a year, for $45 million a piece. That’s more money per game than CBS’s previous deal with the League. And the NFL’s not done cashing checks. It’s selling streaming rights for these games separately, potentially to companies like Amazon, Yahoo, or Facebook. Turf’s always greener on the multi-million-dollar checks side.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO’S PLANNING A TRIP TO RIO..

This is not a drill. Yesterday, the World Health Organization declared the Zika virus a global public health emergency. Reminder: the Zika virus comes from a mosquito bite, and includes symptoms like fever, a rash and joint pain. Getting the virus isn’t all that dangerous…unless you’re pregnant. It’s been linked to a birth defect in newborns. The virus has spread through Latin America and the Caribbean, with thousands of babies born with the birth defect in Brazil. Right now, there’s no vaccine for the virus. So declaring an international health emergency will hopefully fast-track research. The faster the better, since Brazil is hosting the Olympics this summer. Oy.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR BF TEXTS YOU ‘WE NEED TO TALK’…

Not a good sign. Today, Yahoo will report its earnings. The company’s CEO Marissa Mayer is also expected to announce a new cost-cutting plan that’ll cut 15 percent of its workforce. The mood at Yahoo HQ hasn’t been all sunshine and smiles lately. Over the past few years, the company’s expenses have gone up and revenue has gone down - leading to a lot of layoffs already. Then last year, Yahoo got rid of a plan to spin off its stake in Alibaba (Chinese e-commerce giant), and instead decided to spin off its core business (think: internet, Tumblr, and email). Since then, investors have been in Mayer’s ear saying ‘sell sell sell.’ Today’s cost-cutting announcement might be Yahoo’s way of making the company more attractive for a sale. Yaaahoo, buyers.

THING TO KNOW

Bageled: Does not involve tasty carbs. Means ‘zero’ and can be used in sports to signal no points, or in finance when talking about bonuses. i.e. “I hope we don’t get bageled by the boss.”

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