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Skimm for September 10th

Skimm’d from the US Open

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I apologize for being dead” – Terry Gilliam. Earlier this week, Variety accidentally published an obituary for the Monty Python actor and director. He is not dead.

STOP, REDISTRIBUTE AND LISTEN

THE STORY

The European Union is dealing with an epic migrant and refugee crisis. And so far, has come up dry in solving it. Until yesterday, when the EU said ‘Aha! We have a plan.‘

BACK UP.

Hundreds of thousands of migrants and refugees have been fleeing their home countries (mostly in the Mideast and Africa) for years. But the trip to safety and a better life in the EU can be deadly, not to mention there is no guarantee their destination will let them stay. Recently, the crisis has gotten much worse. After tragedies like a boat filled with hundreds of migrants and refugees capsizing and images like this one, the rest of the world started paying more attention.

SO WHAT’S THE LATEST?

Over the weekend, Britain and France agreed to take in tens of thousands of people. And Germany pledged to spend billions on relief efforts. Then yesterday, the EU’s top official laid out a plan to redistribute 160,000 migrants and refugees across its member countries. Countries that have been on the front-line of the crisis – like Italy and Greece – are saying ‘Finally! We need help.’ While others – like Hungary and the Czech Republic – are saying ‘You gotta be kidding me. I got 99 problems and this can’t be one.’

theSKIMM

This is the first time the EU has pushed for all member countries to take responsibility for the crisis. But since the UN expects more than 800,000 people to cross the border into the EU by next year, this plan is just the tip of the crisis iceberg.

THE *: A camerawoman in Hungary is now at the top of the world’s sh*t list. While filming people as they ran from police, she was caught on camera deliberately tripping and kicking them. She was fired. And renamed the worst person in the world.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU’VE BEEN CARRYING AROUND A PHONE WITH A CRACKED SCREEN FOR MONTHS...

iWant an upgrade. Yesterday, Apple invited a bunch of people over to show off some high-tech toys. There was clapping. Spoiler: the iPhone got a fancy makeover. You can now refer to it as iPhone 6S or 6S Plus. It’s made of tough stuff (literally ), has a 3D touch screen, and now comes in rose gold. Because, why not? The Fruit is hoping the new bells and rose gold whistles will make everyone get their holiday wish lists ready. It also unveiled new versions of pretty much everything else, including an iPad Plus that looks a lot like your old desktop screen and a stylus pen. Which is great, since Steve Jobs once said, “if you see a stylus, they blew it.”

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT...

The right-to-die movement. Yesterday, California lawmakers approved legislation that would let terminally ill patients end their own lives. This issue started getting a lot more attention last year when 29-year-old Brittany Maynard , who had terminal brain cancer, moved from California to Oregon to end her own life. She said the progression of her cancer would have destroyed the time she had left. Oregon is one of a handful of states that allows terminally ill patients to die on their “own terms,” as Maynard put it, with prescribed medication. And now California might be added to that list. The proposal still needs to be approved by the state senate, which is expected to give it the OK.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR MOM ASKS YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE...

This is my nightmare come true. Yesterday, Iran’s supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei made everyone feel really, really great about the Iran nuclear deal. After calling the US “Satan,” he said that as soon as the deal’s got a fork in it, Iran will go back to giving the US the silent treatment. Hooray. Reminder: the long-awaited and much-debated deal — which is aimed at curbing Iran’s nuclear program — was agreed to this summer between Iran, the US and five other countries. While Iran’s president and friends have talked a big negotiating game, the Ayatollah hasn’t been so into it. Helpful, since he actually has top billing in the country. Yesterday, he also said that Israel won’t be around in 25 years. Which might explain why Israel is not thrilled with the deal. In the last week, President Obama secured justttt enough votes in Congress to get the deal approved. The official vote is next week. Everyone’s sure to be in a great mood.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR ROSS GELLER…

He might be into this one. Today, scientists announced that they’ve discovered a new species of human relative in South Africa. It’s being called Homo naledi, and its fossils were found in a cave two years ago. But the fossils themselves are much older…as in probably more than a million years old. This discovery could change the way scientists understand human evolution, and make Christmas come early for the professor of that biological anthropology class you took in college.

THING TO KNOW

AFK: Away from keyboard. As in, if you leave a Gchat convo by saying ‘AFK,’ you will lose friends.

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